Seven Common Mistakes that Empty Nesters make

Your adult children have finally flown the coop, and you're left with an eerily quiet house and a whole lot of newfound freedom. While this stage of life can be incredibly liberating, it also comes with its fair share of challenges.

Here are seven common mistakes that empty nesters often make as they venture into this new chapter

1. Ignore their Relationship with their Partner

As mothers, we often put ourselves on the back burner. We can also be guilty of neglecting our relationship with our partner. It’s essential at this stage of life that we rekindle the connection, to prioritise the bond and fix any relationship challenges. Making a special time for date night, finding new activities to do together and keeping the romance alive will help you to move into your next stage of life with confidence. Check out The adventure Book for inspiration.

2. Don't Prepare for the Changes ahead

The only thing constant in life is change. That said, some people find this change in life very difficult to manage. However, clinging on to the past not only prevents you from moving forward and enjoying happiness after kids leave. It also means that you are missing out on your adult child’s adventures, meeting new people and embracing new experiences. You must try to embrace the changes and find your purpose. Read this BLOG POST and discover How to Prepare for your Empty Nest.

3. Compare their Journey with Others

In a world with social media, it's all too easy to fall into the trap of keeping up with the Jones. The same can apply for some while experiencing the empty nest phase. Please remember, everyone's journey is unique, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Focus on finding what brings you joy and fulfilment, regardless of what others around you are doing.

4. Over-involvement in their Adult Children’s lives

I know that when they were little they were the centre of our universe and needed help with many things. Now that they are grown our young adults need to manage themselves, and/or make their own mistakes. When we micromanage them, it can lead to strained relationships and prevent both generations from living the stage of life they are in to its fullest. Both empty nester and young adult need to fully embrace their independence. Read this BLOG POST for Seven Tips for Parents to Stay Connected with their Young Adults.

5. Neglect their own Mental Health and Happiness

After years of putting others first, some Mums find it hard to start prioritising our own happiness. It somehow feels selfish. But it isn’t. If you are not already prioritising your self-care you must start immediately. Regular exercise, healthy eating, journaling, reading, yoga can all help improve your well-being. Start now and seek support if needed.

6. Isolate themselves

For many mothers our identity is just that. We’ve spent so long being ‘Mum’ we are not sure who else we are. When our life has been centred around our children, it can be isolating when they leave. It’s important to build new friendships, find new community, rediscover passions and pursue new goals. Now is your time to get out there and travel, volunteer, find new purpose The world is your oyster, don't hide away. Get out there and redefine yourself.

7. Expect too much from their adult children

The transition to empty nest is huge. One week your adult children are there, next week they’re gone. It’s natural to feel a sense of emptiness and loss. However, pinning our hopes of fulfilment on them is unrealistic. They have left to create their own life, to discover who they want to be. They need to be left to do this without our intervention. The more we intervene the more we slow the process down and risk putting unnecessary strain on our relationship with them. We must find our own independence at this point, embrace our own interests and hobbies and let our kids spread their wings and fly.

So, there you have it, seven common mistakes that empty nesters can sometimes make as they navigate relationships, purpose, and happiness. But remember, nobody's perfect, and it's okay to stumble along the way. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes, embrace the journey, and make the most of this exciting new chapter in your life. I believe in you. You've got this!

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